Presidential Choices and You! A Scenario Based Quiz for Pres. Obama

Mr. President,

Welcome to the 2010 edition of 'Presidential Choices and You.'  Now that you're the president of the United States you will be faced with various challenges and pressures both domestically and on the world's stage.  So, please read through each question carefully, and mark your answers clearly.  Let's begin.


1)  Let's say you are faced with an epic oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico that is causing an environmental disaster the likes of which has never been seen in the United States.  The governor of one of those southern states sends barges out to assist with the cleanup effort to suck up as much oil as possible.  Do you:
   a.  Praise the governor for taking the initiative and assisting in the cleanup effort
   b.  Offer to let the governor run the cleanup effort, since he's getting things done
   c.  Send the US Coast Guard out to stop those bastards before they get any credit!

2)  Suppose that you have an open border to the south of the country, and many millions of people are illegally invading your nation.  While the legal immigrants improve our society through hard work and a solid business sense, illegals often engage in human-trafficking and illegal narcotics.  One border state decides to assist you by delivering illegals to your door step to make your job easier.  Do you:
   a.  Praise the governor of the state for taking the initiative and assisting our nation's security
   b.  Offer to put the governor of the state in charge of ICE since the current director said he won't do his job even if illegals are put on his door step
   c.  Sue the hell out of that state before they screw up your chances in 2012!

3)  You are arriving at the G20 Summit in the midst of what can only be called an international financial meltdown of Great Depression era proportions.  Upon arrival do you say:
   a.  "The United States is committed to helping to solve this fiscal crisis immediately."
   b.  "I look forward to working with the G20 leaders on this extremely urgent issue of our time."
   c.  "Any good golf courses around?" 

4)  You have $10.  You owe $9.50 to your debtors.  Do you:
   a.  Pay the $9.50 and stop spending money you don't have.
   b.  Earn more money by reducing the burdens on businesses through lower corporate taxes, which would allow you to pay off the debts more quickly.
   c.  Extend a new line of credit with a new debtor for a higher interest rate, maxing out the credit immediately, while simultaneously burdening the businesses of the United States, thereby reducing your overall revenues, not pay the $9.50, and pass the bill on to a new generations of Americans.

Thank you for taking this brief quiz.  It seems that you have chosen "c." for all of your answers.  I'm afraid this is incorrect.  We would have accepted pretty much anything except for "c." in these three scenarios.  Please review your presidential manual and re-take the quiz in November. 

The VP from Mild Amusement to Anger

Joe Biden during some interview or something...and he knows the microphone is off, too.

Cutting in front of him in line. --  Oooh that irks Joe Biden.

Shouting, "Hey Dick Cheney!" as a bystander. --  Man that really ticks off Joe Biden.

Strolling around in a clown suit on a unicycle behind him during a photo op. --  Man, this guy is a real a-hole to Joe Biden!

Asking Joe Biden to lower your taxes.  -- WHAT THE HELL?!  THE VP VERY ANGRY!  AAARRRRGGGGG!

Closet Liberal Litmus Test

You all know one, a closet liberal.  He's all "I'm moderate, not liberal" but you can smell past the smug sense of superiority.  Here's a demonstration of the Closet Liberal Litmus Test, which I've developed and I now share with you here...free of charge!  Enjoy.

Closet Liberal Litmus Test...works every time!  ;)

Facebook Productivity Chart

Lessons in Driving

Advice:  Don't speed.  Just go the speed limit.  You aren't in that big of a hurry, trust me.

I get a speeding ticket about once every 10 years...that means I have 2 speeding tickets.  I don't usually speed, but sometimes I just lose track of how fast I'm going.  This ALMOST happened again last night.  Picture it...Colorado Springs last night.  It's a calm and balmy 77 degrees, around 8pm, as the sun sets over the Rockies off in the distance.  I'm driving down a 2 lane highway (speed limit 65mph), and I'm doing exactly 69mph...close enough (don't judge me).  Anyway, as some of you know, as I have unfortunately admitted to it publicly, I hear the Knight Rider theme song in my head in treachorous driving conditions.  Remember that last night, however, was a nice clear evening.  So I'm driving along and I remember that I ACTUALLY HAVE THE KNIGHT RIDER SONG IN MY CD PLAYER (I made it for my kids, ssshhhh).  So I think "I should play it" (wrong, I should not play it, I should not play it EVER when behind the wheel of the vehicle).   I go from a tame regular guy driving my Jeep to something that looks like this (below) to other drivers:

To me, however, it sounded like this:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mo8Qls0HnWo 

Just when I started getting crazy, and putting the pedal to the metal, my spidey senses tingled. 

So, I realized I'm not 17 years old, and I removed my foot from the pedal, and just set the cruise control for 65mph, and made it home safely without incident, without a speeding ticket, and with my dignity....like a champion.

Realization

The stages of sudden realization...applies to 1) being a soccer fan or 2) realizing that winter in Colorado sucks.

Episode One: Attack of the Liberals

"Why does the Republican party suck?" -- Anomymous

I don't know. Why does your FACE suck? I didn't say this would be a mature blog ALL the time. ;)

"Who dat say they gonna beat dem Saints?" -- Saintsfan49

I should really advertise better. :/

How this works.

Basically, you ask me stuff, and I answer your questions...like a f'ing champion.